Talk therapy is one of many methods that can help people feel more at ease, less “stuck”, and make new choices in their life. Sometimes, simply having a therapeutic relationship with someone you come to trust offers a whole host of benefits on its own.
In my therapeutic relationships, I tend to be a direct communicator, consistently curious, and focused on the process of what happens between us in our sessions. In other words, what plays out during therapy can reveal a lot about how you show up in the world. Relationships play an enormous part in our lives and heavily influence how we see ourselves and view our circumstances. If we can understand the effects that your prior and current relationships have had on you, we might better understand your experiences, emotions, and motivations more deeply and help you clarify what it is that you really want.
It’s also helpful to identify what cycles or patterns established in your family show up for you in the present. We all are born into systems we didn’t choose. Why exactly does this matter? We learned what it means to be human within the rules and behaviors of the environments we grew up in. Were you not allowed to quit something you didn’t like because “we aren’t quitters”? Did you hide who you had a crush on because you feared not being accepted? Did you struggle to express any emotion or set boundaries because someone else was taking up too much space? These seemingly small adjustments and ways of surviving may lead us to a pattern of hiding our authentic selves in order to avoid being hurt. We want to move toward understanding, accepting, and grieving our early formative attachments. Then we can ask ourselves what needs we had that weren’t met and decide how we can best meet them going forward.
There may be parts of you that feel repressed, oppressed, stifled, and controlled. I want us to listen to these parts and understand why and how they came to be. We all have many parts that talk to us throughout the day, advising us on what to move toward and away from. They all think they have a very important job to do - and they do! A internal struggle might arise when some of our parts aren’t living in harmony anymore, and are instead in consistent, cyclical conflict. One aspect of resolving this is discovering how to regulate and resource our various parts. We want to approach them with empathy, affirmation, and a feeling of safety. When we can move toward peace and away from a position of solely protecting ourselves, we can be more present in our day to day lives and build an integrated identity that allows for joy, ease, and hope for the future.
Feel free to reach out and ask me more about anything I mention above, as well as the benefits of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) which can be highly effective in the processing of traumatic memories. It is wonderful in conjunction with talk therapy or on its own. We can discuss what your needs are and get a better idea of what treatment options would work best for you.
Registered Associate MFT #126706
supervised by Eliza Steel, LMFT #107513